Barkeepers

I have always been enthralled by barkeepers, in particular female ones. As a 16 or 17 year old teenager in Bremen, Germany, in the 80s it was a big deal, full of excitement, to make it past the bouncer at the door of a popular club or bar, to be admitted into the world of cool adults (well, mostly slightly older kids) hanging around in places like the “Römer”, “Lila Eule”, or the “Airport”. Today’s equivalent would be the admission into the “Berghain” in Berlin.

After being allowed to enter, the initial goal, after fleetingly greeting some friends, is to get a drink at the bar. Easier said than done. First, one had to find a way through the crowd in black leather jackets near the entrance. Approaching the bar, the second ordeal would start. Typically, a large cluster of thirsty folks closely cling to the bar, sit on bar stools and would make physically reaching the counter very difficult. One had to somehow squeeze through the crowd and that was hard even for a tall guy in a black leather jacket. Squeezing through is the right term. Couples flirting with each other and guys trying to impress their dates describing emotionally the latest Sonic Youth album didn’t want to be disturbed.

Finally, at the bar, the last ordeal begins. Get the attention of the barkeeper within the thirsty crowd trying exactly the same. How to do that without appearing foolish, uncool, or desperate? Waving your hand does not cut it. That is way too desperate. It is all about one’s eyes, minimal gesturing through posture, and subtle movements of the hands. This is hard to pull off! The barkeeper has so much power over you. Regulars get their drinks without much ado, sometimes even before they order. The barkeeper knows their drink of choice. That puts them at the pinnacle of cool. As a teenager I wasn’t there yet. I still had to get the attention of the barkeeper without making a fool out of myself. Your eyes follow her and your hands lay relaxed on the counter. Do not show any tension. Do not appear desperate. Also, do not show that you think that the female behind the bar is the coolest girl you have seen in a long time. Not as cool as Kim Gordon, the girl in a band, but very close. Last but not least she looks and nods at you and then brings you the green bottle of Beck’s you craved the last 20 minutes. Cheers!